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this charming man
iguessijustlikelikingthings:

[glasses cleaning intensifies]

1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.

2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.

3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.

4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.

5. Fart when you have to.

6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!

7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.

Seven Simple Ways To Free Yourself, from girl to girl (via fawnbabe)
pulpdrinker:

i have never seen something more clearly written by a straight white male

pulpdrinker:

i have never seen something more clearly written by a straight white male

seejelly:

two years ago i was licking a lollipop and some dude said “watching a girl eat a lollipop is a great way to see how well she gives blowjobs” so i bit the lollipop in half and spit it out 

sandandglass:

Keira Knightley talks about Pirates of the Caribbean and her boobs.

odinsblog:

The New Jim Crow
1. Ferguson, Missouri has a population of approximately 21,000 people — roughly 75% of those residents are Black
2. The Ferguson police department has around 530 cops —less than 5 of them are Black
3. Ferguson had *zero* homicides for all of 2014 —until Michael Brown was murdered by Darrin Wilson
4. Things you should know: Five Myths About Black-on-Black Crime
5. Michael Brown was 18yrs old and was about to begin college. Brown had no criminal record, and despite the Ferguson PD’s smear campaign, Mike Brown PAID FOR the cigars —those facts are all important and should be known, but even if Brown was a high school dropout with prior arrests who stole the cigars, 1) it wouldn’t have made his life any less valuable, 2) we have a court system and those are not capital offenses and 3) it doesn’t change the fact that the cop who killed him, Darren Wilson, had no idea about Brown’s personal history when he executed Brown. Wilson saw only a Black teen deemed either “too uppity” or “suspicious” because of his skin color
6. Five examples: The Militarization of the police
7. It’s deeply Institutional: Police view Black Children As Less Innocent
8. So please - don’t get it twisted

odinsblog:

The New Jim Crow

1. Ferguson, Missouri has a population of approximately 21,000 people — roughly 75% of those residents are Black

2. The Ferguson police department has around 530 cops —less than 5 of them are Black

3. Ferguson had *zero* homicides for all of 2014 —until Michael Brown was murdered by Darrin Wilson

4. Things you should know: Five Myths About Black-on-Black Crime

5. Michael Brown was 18yrs old and was about to begin college. Brown had no criminal record, and despite the Ferguson PD’s smear campaign, Mike Brown PAID FOR the cigars —those facts are all important and should be known, but even if Brown was a high school dropout with prior arrests who stole the cigars, 1) it wouldn’t have made his life any less valuable, 2) we have a court system and those are not capital offenses and 3) it doesn’t change the fact that the cop who killed him, Darren Wilson, had no idea about Brown’s personal history when he executed Brown. Wilson saw only a Black teen deemed either “too uppity” or “suspicious” because of his skin color

6. Five examples: The Militarization of the police

7. It’s deeply Institutional: Police view Black Children As Less Innocent

8. So please - don’t get it twisted